Summer Adulting
- cholmes95222
- Jun 10
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 10
I’m on a self-help-book kick right now, reading about how to date at my age and not “Die Alone” (Logan Ury) along with how to manifest things Daring Greatly (Brene Brown) and live in the space of The Four Agreements (Don Miquel Ruiz).
I also was referred to a millennial named “Tinx” who is hilarious and talks about the ‘summer of outside’ on her podcast along with some raw-dog dating advice.
I’m learning how much I don’t know about any of this while also exposing myself to some pretty interesting content about dating in 2025.
I’ve also wandered into the world of an astrology app (The Pattern) which is very entertaining and may be helping my ‘manifesting’ through subliminal suggestions about things I want to believe.
In case you didn’t know, we are in a new moon and there is a thing called the vertex. But to unlock the truth and go deeper, you have to pay $83.99 annually. How they got to that number is a mystery of the universe, pun intended.
I’ve decided unlocking the truth and going deeper is not worth $83.99 so I’m only getting the free advice and insights.
I’m somehow making due here.
It’s exhausting to be exposed to all of this advice while also still recovering from a bit of a broken heart and back to my regularly scheduled life post my Argentina adventure.
I’m feeling depleted and in a funk.
To add to the funkiness, since I’ve been home for these 20 days, I have felt assaulted by a series of first-world problems and the clear and significant need for adulting, a vast departure from my time in Argentina.
I will start with my roof project.
Given all the self-help I’ve been ingesting, I’m now focused on if this roof thing could be a metaphor for my life dilemmas right now. According to AI, a roof is a metaphorical platform for observation and a space for new beginnings.
Sure. New beginnings are welcome and appreciated. Bring it on universe.
Said roof though has cost way more than $83.99. Maybe I should have just subscribed to the astrology app and saved some money?
I digress.
I have needed a new roof for more than four years. Neighbors have found pieces of my roof in their yard for several years now and brought them over as a ‘offering’ and not-so-subtle suggestion that perhaps, the time had arrived for me to replace my roof.
In November last year, I contracted with a roofing company who offered me a discount if I did the roof in winter, based on their availability and weather circumstances.
Well, of course. Why not?
So, in December I had the pool solar panels taken off the house so when that perfect moment arrived, the roof was fully exposed and ready to be replaced.
The roof replacement also triggered another significant project – my 1964 Corvair in the garage - which didn’t start due to my neglect and Bill’s illness - had to be out of the garage for the duration of the roof replacement foray.
I needed to find a mechanic so I joined the Northern California Corvair Club, a group of men my age and older, who still live their best days through vintage cars.
Many of you thought this was going to be a perfect way for me to meet a man since the dating apps had proven to be an epic fail.
So much optimism was conveyed about this membership at the time.
I cheerfully attended the Christmas party in December hoping for a man and mechanic.
I was one of two women there and the youngest and most able-bodied.
No man was manifested, but I did identify one of the two mechanics in the Bay Area who work on these cars (PM me if you actually know of anyone) – both equally distant from my home necessitating that the car be towed about 50 miles.
This triggered a new AAA road service plan to extend my coverage so it didn’t cost me more than the value of the car to get it to the shop.
The car eventually got fixed which is another post because it was kind of an adventure and a little Christmas story.
You following me on all of this?
I know it’s boring and mundane, but it’s a highway we all travel sometimes when one thing just leads to 10,000 other things and you feel like it’s never going to end and the universe is just railing ass against you while you are just trying to accomplish one thing on your ‘to do’ list.
I must have been put on the naughty list in December by the roof people because by the end of February I was still in the queue and it felt like it was never going to happen.
In February I had a brief romantic liaison that was intense and quickly went south. I needed to regroup and un-tether my hostage self from the roof people.
So, I bought a plane ticket to literally ‘go south’ to Argentina, rented an apartment for two months and hoped to tango my way out of these messes. I figured weather would not be a factor in May for the perpetual roof project.
It rained in May here.
More wondering in my head about the irony and about the comparisons to my real life here.
Fast forward, thankfully for all of us, happy to report after many attempts, roof is done, solar pool panels are back up, diving board removed, yard is looking less like a jungle, and my bank account is significantly depleted leaving me stuck here for a bit to recover financially and left to think about my life and next moves.
Enter self-help books.
Here’s the thing about these books. I find they really don’t help much. There are a few pearls and gems contained in them but mostly there are a lot of words and filler material.
And the title, “How to Not Die Alone”… Really?
All I really want to do is drink some wine, tango and salsa a bit (which I have been doing) and feel the funky sad about the state of my life right now, so I’m doing my fair share of that as well as reading this stuff.
My dear friend took me out Saturday night for an excursion to see if we could manifest a man “IRL” In Real Life – yes this is a thing. It’s also referred to as “in the wild” which essentially means the way we used to meet people, off the phone and in-person.
Saturday was pretty hilarious because I suck at all of this and we didn’t really have a solid plan. We took many futile turns and learned that people my age go out early. I was on Argentinian time and we left at 9 p.m. Really poor planning on my part.
Of course there was that one guy at a bar in Danville, rocking his red walker trying to groove with the music. God Bless him for continuing to try.
We got carded in Walnut Creek and we didn’t have our actual cards, so we were not admitted to the club, despite our obvious, advanced age.
What has happened to the world? We used to get into places with fake IDs.
Another Uber ride (this was the chief investment of the evening – we took four and had the same driver twice - to a dive bar nearby.)
Of course, no one turned up except for a few 30-somethings who we came to learn knew our adult kids (kind of embarrassing) and one 42-year-old who later told a friend “he would consider dating me.” I suppose I should feel flattered.
The next morning, we were mildly chastised by our adult children for trolling around the East Bay and not acting our age.
I’m literally okay with that. I feel like I’m a better human for not acting my age.
I’m not really sure I can handle a man right now and have been thinking deeply about that even though the idea of having someone in my life is so very appealing.
Maybe that’s all the self-help I need. To regress, just live my life and have fun.
I’m trying that on for a bit.
Under this conditions, I may actually meet someone I want to date.
And, if I’m honest with myself, I think I’m just having a moment here back in ‘Merica and watching all the madness around me.
Write to me and tell me what you're doing with your summer. xo/Claire
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My curated self-help book/podcast list below.
How to Not Die Alone
Daring Greatly
The Four Agreements
Tinx Podcast
The Pattern
